Always Do Your Best

Me, standing at the river's edge after a long day of hard hiking.

This morning, I woke up tired. I woke up without a whole lot of motivation. I woke up… not doing my best. I looked around my New York City apartment, strewn with bits and pieces I’d neglected to put away the night before. Clothes on the floor, backpack half unpacked on a chair, and the TV remotes scattered on the glass-top coffee table that clearly could use a Windex-ing.

When I see this in my life, I stop and think, “am I doing my best?”

Doing Your Best When it Feels Hard

It’s easy to let our values slip away when life gets hectic and stressful. The first one for me is organization and putting things in their proper place. It’s well-known that being organized is associated with better mental health, so when one slips, the other is likely to follow. If you’re suffering mentally, forcing yourself to take a shower, organize the mess, and clean up your space is the best step you can take.

Self-talk Matters

When pressure mounts, we can become unkind to ourselves. Oftentimes these patterns are subconscious, and we’re unaware of how we’re treating ourselves. I know for me, my negative self-talk isn’t even verbal at times - it’s just a state my mind sinks into without me consciously knowing it. When I wake up with those rough mornings, I try to take stock of what’s going on and address my problem compassionately, but firmly.

Magic Phrases

The brain is a very plastic (not as in micro-plastic, but as in flexible) organ. It’s easily convinced most times, and a turn of phrase can turn the present moment around. I’ve collected a group of phrases that work for me, but none has worked for me better than, “I always do my best.”

This single phrase allows me to get more done, with a higher quality output, and a feeling of satisfaction. For example, when I wake up and see that I’ve left my apartment in disarray, I recognize it as me taking the path of least resistance. I’m aware that that path is easier, but it’s far more gratifying to my brain to have a clean living space. Brains love order.

Values and Personal Beliefs

The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg had a big impact on this concept for me. In it the author describes how a habit change must be underpinned by a belief. A belief that by changing to a new habit, your life will be better. Without it, the new habit typically fails. The fact that the brain is plastic helps: we can just remind ourselves of our belief that life will be better. The deeper the belief, the more likely it will stick.

Deepness of Belief

When I refer to a belief being deep, I mean emotionally. For example, when I clean I don’t just do it for myself, I do it for my wife as well. I know she benefits from a clean home, and I love her. For me, it’s a way of showing that I care.

I exercise and lift weights because my wife once told me she thinks nice arms on a guy are sexy. I’ve never forgotten that. But I also exercise because I have nieces and nephews I want to be around a long time for. Having lost family members due to poor health, health has become an important value of mine. The deeper and more emotionally connected these are, the more likely you’re going to be able to commit new habits long-term.

In Real Life

My value to always do my best isn’t perfect, but it helps in most moments. If I get an audition, but I don’t really want to work on memorizing lines, I say, “I always do my best,” and it lightens the pressure.

If I don’t want to unload the dishwasher in the morning after having cooked a lot the night before, I say, “I always do my best.” And then I start with the forks (they’re the lightest).

While it doesn’t always work, it helps in most moments where I feel I’m not living as the person I want to be.

All in All

Do your best. Remind yourself to do it, too. Think it and say it out loud. Put the folded clothes away, be kind when you’re feeling angry, and believe in the value of doing your best. Your life will benefit greatly from it.